廣州熱線

Avoid using inappropriate reasons for why a particular college is attractive to you. (I have actually seen essays where the applicant described how much he “l(fā)oved” the University of Chicago and wanted to date her, and another where the applicant wrote that NYU was attractive because she just loved the color purple on theNYU website.) You must read the website carefully to discover specific programs, activities, curricula, distinguished professors (and the like) that you can point to and say, “THIS is why I want to go to University X.”

在說(shuō)明某所大學(xué)為何對(duì)你有吸引力時(shí)，避免運(yùn)用一些不恰當(dāng)?shù)睦碛伞?曾經(jīng)看過(guò)申請(qǐng)者在短文中描述自己是如何如何熱愛(ài)芝加哥大學(xué)，并想要和它約會(huì)的，而另一個(gè)人則在短文中說(shuō)紐約大學(xué)吸引她僅僅是因?yàn)樗矚g紐約大學(xué)網(wǎng)站上的紫色)。

你必須仔細(xì)瀏覽學(xué)校官方網(wǎng)站，以便發(fā)現(xiàn)一些具體的項(xiàng)目、活動(dòng)、課程，以及著名的教授，諸如此類的，然后你就可以在短文中指出這就是你想要去XX大學(xué)的原因。

6.不要只在短文中陳述學(xué)校多么好

Do not tell the school how good it is. “I want to attend the prestigiousUniversity X because it is a top US college with an international reputation,”just sounds insincere.

不要只在短文中陳述學(xué)校多么好?！拔蚁胍暾?qǐng)著名的XX大學(xué)，因?yàn)樗敲绹?guó)一所頂尖的大學(xué)，在國(guó)際上都享有盛譽(yù)?！边@樣說(shuō)的話會(huì)顯得不真誠(chéng)。

7.吸引讀者的眼球

Catch the reader’s attention in the first sentence of your essay by writing something dramatic or humorous. In one excellent essay I read, the applicant (hoping to major in entomology), wrote this: “Ahhhh! There are bugs in the shampoo!'Doesn't that make you want to read more? (He then went on to describe how his mother had found one of his “science experiments” involving insects, and how experiences like this made him want to study entomology.)

在短文的開頭寫一些富有戲劇性的或者是幽默的東西，以吸引讀者的眼球。曾有一篇優(yōu)秀的短文，申請(qǐng)人想要修昆蟲學(xué)專業(yè)，開頭他是這樣寫的：“啊，洗發(fā)露里竟然有蟲子!讀完，難道你不會(huì)想要繼續(xù)讀下去嗎?(接下來(lái)他又描述了他的母親如何發(fā)現(xiàn)了他的一次昆蟲“科學(xué)實(shí)驗(yàn)”，以及這些經(jīng)歷是怎樣使他最終想要研究昆蟲學(xué)的。)

　8.首尾呼應(yīng)

If you start with a story, you can end with some reference to the same story. (Our entomology student, for example, could then mention his mother’s shock again in his last paragraph.)

如果你是以一個(gè)故事開頭的，那么你可以在結(jié)尾的時(shí)候再提一下這個(gè)故事，所謂“點(diǎn)題”(例如，這位昆蟲學(xué)的學(xué)生在最后一段再次提到他的母親對(duì)他這些行為有多震驚。)

　9.恰當(dāng)?shù)囊媚軌虼蟠笤鰪?qiáng)文章的可信度。

Well-chosen quotations can add powerful credibility to your essay. All you need to do is decide what the key concept of your essay is (such as strength, honor, or patience)and then use the internet to find quotations that use any of these keywords.The best quotations come from persons who are well-known to both Chinese andAmerican readers, and they must be admirable persons. (Past American andChinese presidents are good examples.) The quote should be short, about one powerful sentence in length. Including a striking quotation in your essay is particularly persuasive if you are applying to a humanities program or want to be an English major, as it demonstrates the breadth of your reading.

恰當(dāng)?shù)囊媚軌虼蟠笤鰪?qiáng)文章的可信度。而你需要做的就是選定你的文章所要表達(dá)的關(guān)鍵點(diǎn)，(比如說(shuō)個(gè)人特長(zhǎng)，獲得的榮譽(yù)，或者是參加的實(shí)踐活動(dòng)等等)，然后再根據(jù)這些關(guān)鍵詞在網(wǎng)上搜索有關(guān)這方面的引文。

最好的引文是出自那些在中國(guó)和美國(guó)讀者中都比較有名并且令人敬佩的人。(前任美國(guó)總統(tǒng)，中國(guó)主席這些都是比較好的例子。)引文最好簡(jiǎn)短有力，大概一句那么長(zhǎng)。如果你想要申請(qǐng)人文學(xué)科項(xiàng)目或者是想要學(xué)英語(yǔ)專業(yè)，那么這樣漂亮的引文會(huì)使文章非常有說(shuō)服力的，因?yàn)檫@樣的引用可以證明你閱讀廣泛。

10.突出自己的個(gè)性

Your purpose in writing your essay is to come across as a unique individual, one who stands out from all the other applicants and one whose writing style is lively, fresh, and different. For undergraduate essays, the personal details of your life and the struggles you have had to overcome will make good stories. Good stories are memorable. You don’t have to be a perfect person; indeed, it may be that any “flaws” you have will convince the reader that you are a muti-faceted person who learns from your mistakes. These flaws don’t have to be terrible:You can describe the time that you made complete a fool of yourself before your friends. (Americans call this the “My most embarrassing moment” essay.) Then tell the reader what you learned from this experience.

你的寫作目的是為了突出你是一個(gè)獨(dú)特的個(gè)體，一個(gè)在眾多申請(qǐng)者中脫穎而出的人，而你的寫作風(fēng)格也應(yīng)是生動(dòng)活潑，新穎清新，與眾不同的。對(duì)于本科生的文書寫作來(lái)說(shuō)，你的個(gè)人的生活經(jīng)歷以及奮斗歷程都會(huì)成為比較好的故事素材。好的故事一定是令人印象深刻的。當(dāng)然你不必是一個(gè)非常完美的人，相反恰恰是這些缺點(diǎn)會(huì)使讀者相信你是多面的，你是能夠從錯(cuò)誤中吸取教訓(xùn)的。這些缺點(diǎn)不必是一些特別嚴(yán)重的：你可以描述你在朋友面前出糗的一次經(jīng)歷(美國(guó)稱這類的文章為“我最尷尬時(shí)刻”類文章)。然后再告訴讀者你從這次經(jīng)歷中學(xué)到了什么。

　11.盡可能使你的文章具體一些

Always try to make your writing as “concrete” as possible, meaning that you provide specific examples (or stories) to support your main points. Instead of just writing, for example, “I spent two months doing chemistry research,” describe the nature of that research, what process you used, and what it taught you. Depth is more important than breadth.

The reader will be more impressed by specific details about ONE of your experiences then a list of twenty experiences. (Save the list of experiences for your resume.)

盡可能使你的文章具體一些，這就意味著你要提供一些具體的事例或故事來(lái)支撐你的主要觀點(diǎn)。例如，不要只是寫“我做過(guò)兩個(gè)月的化學(xué)研究”，而是應(yīng)該詳細(xì)地描述一下這次研究的性質(zhì)，采用的方法，以及你收獲了什么。文章的深度比廣度更重要。比起羅列一堆你的個(gè)人經(jīng)歷，你的某一次經(jīng)歷中的一些細(xì)節(jié)更能打動(dòng)讀者(你可以把這些經(jīng)歷用在簡(jiǎn)歷上)。

12.陳述你的宗教信仰也是完全可以的

It is perfectly all right to describe your particular religion in an undergraduate essay. Readers in the US come from many different religious backgrounds and the admission officers will most likely be broad-minded and tolerant. The main thing is not to try and “convert” the reader—you simply want to show how being a Buddhist (or a Catholic, or a Christian, or whatever) has had a profound impact on your life.

本科文書中陳述你的宗教信仰也是完全可以的。美國(guó)讀者大都來(lái)自不同的宗教背景并且學(xué)校招生人員也都是心胸比較寬廣的人。但不必試圖改變讀者的宗教信仰，你只需說(shuō)明作為一名佛教徒(或者是天主教徒、基督徒等等)給你帶來(lái)了怎樣重大的影響。